Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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