I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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