Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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