I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
