accomplished twins. life is a go
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
