Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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