It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
