He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
