Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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