I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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