Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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