4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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