Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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