Non-Jews are for practice
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
