dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
