No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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