Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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