I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize