9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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