Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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