apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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