smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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