grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
