well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
