Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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