haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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