I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
