So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
