My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
do nipples grow back?
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