I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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