it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
