Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
