Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
