the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
