Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
