question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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