she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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