I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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