Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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