why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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