Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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