Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
