in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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