hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
