After last night, I could never be a politician.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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