Do vagina's smell?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
