When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
