I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
