she looked like the bat from fern gully.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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