There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
