And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
