It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
