I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
