Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
