This girl is more easily done than said...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
