so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
