The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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