I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize